Mall Mania

Mania. Oh yeah, that's the word for it.

The newspaper tells me that 'Mantri Mall', the largest mall to-date in India will open soon in Bangalore. Recession and retail slowdown be damned, the developers sold out 94% of the space weeks ahead of opening. Who says Indians don't have money and are conservative when it comes to splurging? Almost every major retailer in India has a presence there - Tatas, Reliance, Future Group (Pantaloon Retail), Landmark (Piramal's), Shopper's Stop et cetera. With 1.3 million sq. ft., it is 10% larger than Ambience Mall in Gurgaon and over 2.5 times the size of Forum Mall, which used to be the biggie amongst malls in Begaluru.

Great news. Yet, doesn't 1.3 million sq. ft. seem really small by... er... 'international standards'...?? I mean, India has over 1 billion in population and a burgeoning middle class, and there is so much untapped potential, and we have only scratched the surface, and the revolution has only just begun, and the retail sector is set to witness a sea-change, and so on and blah blah blah... et cetera ad nauseeam.

When I was a kid living in a tiny house at Dadar in Mumbai, we used to go the Shivaji Park or the Chowpatty for timepass. Mom would take us. When dad was in the mood, we would go to more distant places like Marine Drive, Gateway of India, Hanging Gardens, Juhu Chowpatty, Girgaum Chowpatty, Kamala Nehru Park, Santacruz airplane wala garden (It has a airplane shaped structure in it. I still don't know what the garden is called.) and so on. If not anything else, I would curl up with a book in a chair, play by myself or roam around Dadar on a bicycle. Going to the movies or eating out was so rare.

I wonder what the heck do kids do thesedays. One of the activities is sure to be visiting malls with their doting parents. I see quite a lot of them when I used to visit a Food Bazaar near my office once in a while. And whenever I watch the idiot box, I see innumerable ads aimed at inducing purchase decisions by kids - and not necessarily for kid stuff either. As for the rest, I'd rather not say much 'cos I have rather vague ideas, not so concrete. But I'm sure it ain't too good what kids are up to thesedays.

Reading about this 'Mantri Mall' brought to my mind another conversation that I had with a friend when we went for a 4-5 hour walk along Marine Drive early one Sunday morning 2 weeks ago. After that he showed me a cheap place near Gateway of India for breakfast. Too bad I could not eat anything there since the place is almost exclusively non-vegetarian. Vegetarians can have some lettuce leaves for breakfast. :) And sometimes some dal, roti and paneer at lunchtime. I was talking about how temples have a habit of cropping up anywhere and everywhere in India. The rate at which temples and gods crop up in India would probably give tough competetion to the birth rate I'm sure. And religion is big business too. VERY BIG. Heck, religious figures and organizations/trusts seem to be even more powerful and rich than the bloody politicians. It is also perhaps the greatest timepass in India. One sees even otherwise perfectly sane and so-called well-educated folks doing inane things such as queuing up 8 hrs. (or more) for darshan at some temple. Or worse still, walking barefoot from some god-forsaken (or should I say builder-and-municipality-nexus-forsaken..?) suburb to some temple which looks more like the corporate headquarters of Siddivinayak Inc. than anything else. The circus surrounding religion in India often makes me wanna puke. It doesn't get that bad usually though. More often than not, I manage to look at it as just that - a circus, a source of entertainment for my mind and senses. How else would I be able to deal with the display of idiocy on such a large scale?

In fact, to take entertainment and timepass to new levels, I have a great idea. You see how the fast-food chains quickly learnt that they have to 'Indianize' in order to do business in India? I think the same needs to be done to Malls in India. There needs to a convergence between the religion mania and shopping mania in India. Get what I mean?

Convergence. Syncretism. Synergy. Oh-so-fancy, huh?

Seriously, I think it would be a big hit. Imagine this - massive malls with massive parking lots (for all the Tata Nano's and other such cars) located on once useless forest or agricultural land. These malls would have themes or a combination of themes as per the local market appeal. I mean, say a Vaishnavite theme mall in Gujjuland, Vithoba theme mall in Maharashtra and so on. One can engage in religion and shopping in the same place. So convenient!! The decor and ambience for the malls would need to be suitably modified, but that should be okay. Chic restaurants serving gourmet prasadam are sure to do brisk business. And with people of all ages and classes thronging the place, retailers of every kind are sure to have a gala time. Special transport corridors should be built to ferry the hordes to these massive complexes on the outskirts of cities. For the more devout, there can be dedicated pedestrian pilgrim paths with shade and watering facilities just like in the good old days when India was the greatest and most religious land in the whole damn universe.

Yeah, I really think that's what we need. A grand marriage between religion and shopping malls.

In fact, I seriously hope some bright young entrepreneur wanting to follow in the footsteps of Kishore Biyani is reading this so that I can offer my consulting services. I would suggest forming a joint venture with one of the local temple trusts to ensure a captive market and greater success. It would also help in easy clearances from various Govt. and regulatory bodies as well as easy availability of land and amenities such as water, electricity, etc. The temples are awash with funds so the initial start-up costs would also be reduced. One could begin by simply encroaching on private property or public land. Amazing, isn't it?

Heck, I'm even willing to put in some money to test this idea. It is called seeding a small-time venture capital business, you know. My consulting comes free if you can give me a 10-20% stake.

Any takers?